Sunday, January 18, 2009

death in the attic

a child died in my attic tonight;
a lone candle mourns her passing--
its flickering tongue casts cold shadows
on the floorboards, and the hungry walls;
where faded ghosts frolick with faded paint
in endless secret orgies,
by the pale light of the moon--
a cat stretches languidly at a nearby tree;
while the restless winds coo
a lovely howling dirge
lamenting lost laughters,
and perfect happy daughters.


Niel Camhalla said...

"its flickering tongue casts cold shadows"
"lamenting lost laughters,"
I like the contrasts. Plus the images from the usual horror movie and ending with the words "perfect" and "happy".

I think you can have a more creative way of describing the walls other than grief-stricken. Kaw pa!


gentle said...

thanks neil. i replaced grief-stricken with "hungry". i think it suits the walls better; devoid of joy and sounding less scientific.

Niel Camhalla said...

I agree. :) And its a totally new way to describe a wall. Nice!

Victor Gregor said...

@Niel, I agree. I like oxymorons in poetry. And not everybody can pull it off. Most of the time, when I attempt it, it just sounds horribly affected. LOL.

Anonymous said...

hey gentle, where did you learn about my blog? i know it's pretty much posted in bizarre places. ^_^

ang dami palang lit people dito sa blog. outside the academe, hindi ko talaga iniixamen ang tula. pinapakiramdaman ko lang. kung naramdaman kong may lalim at nagustuhan ko ang sinasabi, maganda na ito para sa akin.

at kabigan, dahil nagustuhan ko ang tulang ito, maaari ba kitang itala sa aking blogroll/link?


Retro Manila said...

lamenting laughters,
and perfectly happy daughters.